yes, billy mays. i wonder if he hates his life, because all he ever does is try to convince you that he's got something great to offer. he doesn't know who you are, or what you love, or where you are, but he knows that he's got something you want, and oh do you want it. his voice has to jump all over just to get you to buy that amazing vacuum cleaner or that life insurance that you need so much, and oh do you need it. i am here, i am selling at a camera, i am thinking about the next product that i know you will want. i am helping you live your life with mine. at least it's a life. when you're lying in your bed thinking about your life lived the past few weeks, you can't get up out of bed and live the next few--if you're lucky to have that.
i could never do it. i don't know what you need. i don't have the confidence to be sure that you even needed it. i can't sell shit. when you look at me trying to sell you something, you are going to look for a little while because this is one more face you've never seen before and , hey, there's nothing else on television; you will leave soon after, forgetting my mouth shrinking to tell you that you need the Ding King automotive dent remover. i am too lazy to try and sell anything i might have for you.
i am too lazy to convince you that i've got something great to offfer.
i am definitely too lazy to convince any of you in that loud voice you want that i am worthy of that loud voice. i'll whisper it to you, and if you want to listen to what i have to sell, you can buy it. all of it.
"when there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire"
UPDATE: after watching a tv show on him and another salesman, i feel billy mays is an ace salesman and smart businessman who gets what he wants and then shoves it in our consumer faces for only 19.99! yay!
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